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Hey Kids
Over the past few months we’ve gotten a lot of concerned letters here at Crumpled Napkin central command:
“Where have you crumpled to my wayward napkin?”
Good Question…it’s classified. I’ll only say that Captain Creampuff’s sex change operation was a complete success, we’re all very proud of him.
“The wooden spoon industry has been crippled! Help us Crumpled Napkin, you’re our only hope!!!”
Take heart young Jedi, we hear your desperate cries…
“Who will touch me inappropriately and make me question my sexual orientation? Crumpled Napkin where are you?”
Never fear, little queer, because the Napkin is HERE!!!!!!!!!
That’s right kids; all of your prayers have been answered…well except for that one…(you sick puppy)
Prepare yourselves! Dig those Depend Undergarments out of your closet! Let that old lady out of the basement! Sterilize your ball gags and penis extension apparatuses!! Strap them on to the recently emancipated granny!!! Ride her like the dirty pony she is! Yeeeeeeha!
Er…uh…I digress.
Anyway the point is: Your favorite band. That sensational serviette! The one true, tree pulp troubadour! That 100% original, super absorbing super group: Crumpled Napkin will be HEADLINING this Friday (October 7th) at Café Du Nord!
No shit! I’m serious.
You heard me bitch…back in the basement with you! Sorry for the interruption, the old bag was getting a little uppity.
So yeah, and this is no ordinary show, not by a long shot. This legendary performance will mark not only the return of Crumpled Napkin (and the very first appearance of the official Crumpled Napkin Go Go Dancers!) but also the return of the Mondo Porno Party to bonny olde San Francisco. There will be so much eye-popping, raunchy entertainment at this little shindig; your swollen genitals will have to get their own cab home.
The theme this year is “Horror Show”. So, Café Du Nord will be transformed into a naughty haunted house. If you wear a slutty and/or horror related costume you will get $5 off at the door! Fuck yeah! Do it!
The night will begin with a screening of “Slaughter Disc” a twisted tale of macabre erotica! Then there will be fabulously dirty rock by local favorites: Wood, Charm School Dropouts and Mauve Velour!
Interspersed within the debouched madness on stage will be burlesque performances so enticing they will make your bung dribble like a Harlem Globetrotter! Featuring: Spectacular Spectacular, Zombie Pinup Girls, and Bombshell Betty. As if this weren’t enough, I’ve saved the best part for last.
It wouldn’t be Mondo Porno without…wait for it…. FREE PORN!
That’s right FREE PORN! DVDs, magazines, vibrators, toys of all shapes and sizes. Titty fucking Christ on a cracker, this night will rule most triumphantly. Excuse me, I have to go down to the basement for a minute, I’m so fired up.
In the Meantime, here is the detailed info:
Mondo Porno Party, Horror Show! www.mondopornoparty.com
Presents Filthy Rock by:
Crumpled Napkin www.crumplednapkin.com
Wood
Charm School Dropouts
Mauve Velour (feat. members of The Servants)
Filthy Dancing by:
Spectacular, Spectacular
Zombie Pinup Girls www.zombiepinups.com
Bombshell Betty www.bombshellbetty.net
Filthy Movie:
Slaughter Disc www.slaughterdisc.com
Devilish DJ’s
Free Porn
Your host: EDITRIXABBYnormal
Café Du Nord
2170 Market St
San Francisco, CA 94114
Friday, Rocktober 7th 2005
Doors at 8:00pm
$10 with a costume or official flyer, $15 w/out
Right on.
Be there!!!
-Mr. Burrito
Over the past few months we’ve gotten a lot of concerned letters here at Crumpled Napkin central command:
“Where have you crumpled to my wayward napkin?”
Good Question…it’s classified. I’ll only say that Captain Creampuff’s sex change operation was a complete success, we’re all very proud of him.
“The wooden spoon industry has been crippled! Help us Crumpled Napkin, you’re our only hope!!!”
Take heart young Jedi, we hear your desperate cries…
“Who will touch me inappropriately and make me question my sexual orientation? Crumpled Napkin where are you?”
Never fear, little queer, because the Napkin is HERE!!!!!!!!!
That’s right kids; all of your prayers have been answered…well except for that one…(you sick puppy)
Prepare yourselves! Dig those Depend Undergarments out of your closet! Let that old lady out of the basement! Sterilize your ball gags and penis extension apparatuses!! Strap them on to the recently emancipated granny!!! Ride her like the dirty pony she is! Yeeeeeeha!
Er…uh…I digress.
Anyway the point is: Your favorite band. That sensational serviette! The one true, tree pulp troubadour! That 100% original, super absorbing super group: Crumpled Napkin will be HEADLINING this Friday (October 7th) at Café Du Nord!
No shit! I’m serious.
You heard me bitch…back in the basement with you! Sorry for the interruption, the old bag was getting a little uppity.
So yeah, and this is no ordinary show, not by a long shot. This legendary performance will mark not only the return of Crumpled Napkin (and the very first appearance of the official Crumpled Napkin Go Go Dancers!) but also the return of the Mondo Porno Party to bonny olde San Francisco. There will be so much eye-popping, raunchy entertainment at this little shindig; your swollen genitals will have to get their own cab home.
The theme this year is “Horror Show”. So, Café Du Nord will be transformed into a naughty haunted house. If you wear a slutty and/or horror related costume you will get $5 off at the door! Fuck yeah! Do it!
The night will begin with a screening of “Slaughter Disc” a twisted tale of macabre erotica! Then there will be fabulously dirty rock by local favorites: Wood, Charm School Dropouts and Mauve Velour!
Interspersed within the debouched madness on stage will be burlesque performances so enticing they will make your bung dribble like a Harlem Globetrotter! Featuring: Spectacular Spectacular, Zombie Pinup Girls, and Bombshell Betty. As if this weren’t enough, I’ve saved the best part for last.
It wouldn’t be Mondo Porno without…wait for it…. FREE PORN!
That’s right FREE PORN! DVDs, magazines, vibrators, toys of all shapes and sizes. Titty fucking Christ on a cracker, this night will rule most triumphantly. Excuse me, I have to go down to the basement for a minute, I’m so fired up.
In the Meantime, here is the detailed info:
Mondo Porno Party, Horror Show! www.mondopornoparty.com
Presents Filthy Rock by:
Crumpled Napkin www.crumplednapkin.com
Wood
Charm School Dropouts
Mauve Velour (feat. members of The Servants)
Filthy Dancing by:
Spectacular, Spectacular
Zombie Pinup Girls www.zombiepinups.com
Bombshell Betty www.bombshellbetty.net
Filthy Movie:
Slaughter Disc www.slaughterdisc.com
Devilish DJ’s
Free Porn
Your host: EDITRIXABBYnormal
Café Du Nord
2170 Market St
San Francisco, CA 94114
Friday, Rocktober 7th 2005
Doors at 8:00pm
$10 with a costume or official flyer, $15 w/out
Right on.
Be there!!!
-Mr. Burrito
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